Cramps, ew. Bleeding, more ew.

So yeah it's THAT time of the month. Kill me please. Being a female just sucks so bad sometimes. I went through a bout of depression today. I literally sat in my car at work and almost cried, over really stupid stuff. Luckily my best friend called me when I got home and we had a nice long chat, which we haven't done in a while. It was nice to catch up. I forgot how much I missed talking to her, it's insane. :/ We used to work together almost every single day, but now we're on different shifts.

On another note, I've come to realize I am seriously paranoid and have emotional problems. Tons. Buckets full. I could probably rent a therapist out for a year and STILL have problems. Oh, life, why have you done this to me? I have trouble trusting people for a lot of reasons, and there are people I really wish I could let go and trust more. For instance, my girlfriend, when she tells me she loves me and that she thinks I'm beautiful. I wish there wasn't that little evil voice in the back of my head trying to interfere.

I'm trying really hard not to be clingy and drive her away, while also trying not to go insane from not being clingy and asking for reassurance every other minute. I'm a total attention-craver and I NEED some level of constant assurance, which I know is unhealthy. I'm trying to get over it, really. She's also pretty opposite me in that way. She doesn't cling to me at all, which sometimes really gets on my nerves, cuz I'm clingy girl and I want to be clinged to, if that makes any sense. I could host an entire clingathon in a relationship all by myself. I'm aware those aren't real words, by the way.

Then I have insecurities about my friends, just everyone in my life in general. I feel like I'm always the one to initiate the conversation or ask to hang out. Hardly anyone EVER calls me or texts me first. That gives me another set of issues. Am I not really wanted as a friend? Am I just someone they put up with? So I've decided I will be texting and calling no longer, at least for now. I'll go silent and see if anyone notices, if anyone bothers to ask me what's up or how I'm doing. It's a solid plan for now. Hopefully someone will actually take notice and I won't be lonely depresso girl.

On a more cheerful note, I found some pictures I think are really awesome. They make the day just a little bit brighter, even if only marginally. I can't claim any of them as my own, so no offense to the takers! I just really like them. :)