Have I mentioned how much I hate working in the rain? I really, really do. On top of that, one of our drivers called out so I had to stay late, and then our GM ended up making me do dishes. Not my job!!! So now my work clothes are more soaked than they already were from the rain and my hands are pruned from the dish water. Uck. Another thing that pissed me off: I guess someone thought it was okay to leave a bucket on the highway, and it got stuck under my fucking car. It was dragging along under it so I had to pull over and get out, on the side of the highway in the rain, and get down on my hands and knees to get it out. It took me like five minutes of pushing and pulling to break the plastic enough to get it from behind my tire, and my entire arm got covered in nasty black car shit. It got under my nails too, which is totally ewie.
Another thing that pissed me off: two of my managers (who are both bitches and who can both kiss my ass) told me I shouldn't talk about other people's personal business (referring to the situation with Alexis and Brittany and the water bill), but it is definitely my business since I had to help bail Brittany out and she is like my sister. So fuck all of them. I don't know how they can defend that selfish, lazy waste of space. And then Lex asked me if I had something to say about it when she came in to work, and that it was none of my business, to which I told her it definitely was. I shouldn't have had to bail Britt out in the first place, so that made it my business right there, regardless of the fact that she's my best friend and closer than blood to me.
I think the last thing really pissing me off today is my weight. HOW AM I NOT LOSING WEIGHT?!?!? I'm barely eating, so I should be losing weight. That's how it fucking works, right? Fuck my life. Fuck my stupid body for not cooperating. I really don't know what to do. I guess the only plus is that I stuck to my calorie limit today, though I doubt it'll do any fucking good. I hate me right now.
My ABC limit was 400 and this is what I've had today:
4 6oz cups of plain black coffee (7)
1 cup low fat (1%) cottage cheese (160)
5 wheat thins fiber selects crackers in garden vegetable (40)
1 dill cucumber pickle (5)
4 oz regular Pepsi (50)
1 cup Mott's natural apple sauce (50)
1 6oz cup Great Value light nonfat yogurt in banana cream pie (80)
2 pieces sugar free Stride spark gum (8)
That puts me at exactly 400 calories/20% RDI.
Somehow I've managed to get myself back into binging/purging/binging/purging the last two days. I was doing so well with avoiding it before, but I've done it about four times in the last two days. That's a lot for me, and I don't like it. I don't want my cheeks to swell up like a chipmunk. :( The food just looks so good sometimes and I can't resist it, and then I know I can't keep it down or I'll get fat, fat, fat.
Update:
I ended up binging (and not purging) on Chinese food. I failed so badly. I did some calculations and figured out that my new daily total now comes out to about 1,405. I had 2 cups/1 pint of General Tso's chicken and 4 crab rangoon puffs, along with approx. 10 oz of regular Pepsi. Someone shoot me. At least I didn't go over 1,500 though. I will try for better tomorrow. :(
I hope tomorrow goes better for you. And the weight will come off, just give it time. Your intake was great! I hate when there's a lot of food that looks good and I eat and eat and then realize I ate too much and have to purge. It sucks.
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