Day 7 of 28 (F*** my life!)

Warning: This post is going to contain a lot of profanity and TMI. If you have sensitive eyes you probably shouldn't read it, m'kay kiddies?

Today was a fucking shit sandwich, the runny, disgusting cowpie kind with giant steaming horse shit balls on top. It sucked. I woke up feeling crappy with no energy, so I left the house early to go to Walmart, where I picked up a few bottles of Vitamin Water Zero and Sobe Lifewater Zero because they have electrolytes. I checked the labels to make sure they didn't use aspartame and it turns out they both use all natural sweeteners and fruits. Yay! I'm officially part of the anti-aspartame revolution, which means no diet anything. That includes light nonfat yogurts, because they also use aspartame, which our bodies physically can't break down. I just don't think it's beneficial to load my body up with extra chemicals when it can't even process them, ya know?

Anyway, I took one of the Sobes out and opened it, planning to drink it slowly over the course of a few hours, but as soon as I tasted that natural fruit taste on my tongue, after only having plain water for a week, I lost it. That bitch was gone in under a minute - all 20 fl oz. I got a bit of a tummy ache after that, from drinking too much, too fast. Then I went into work, still feeling like a leech had drained all of the life force out of me, and it only spiraled downward from there. I'm quite fortunate that my day shift coworkers are very understanding and that two of them (one of them being the morning manager) know about my water fast and are supporting me. Instead of asking me to do anything strenuous in the store or go outside in the heat, I was allowed to just grab a chair from the dining room and sit in the delivery station hallway thingy.

I folded lots of boxes and answered the phones, all while sitting down. Woo! But I still didn't feel any better. In fact, every time I stood up or had to take a delivery I felt like I was going to pass out, puke, or both. By the afternoon it got so bad we actually stopped taking deliveries. They covered for me and started telling people we didn't have a driver in - awww! I love my day shift friends. Well, to move the story along, it turns out that my body has FINALLY decided to carry on with the full detox cycle. What happened to me today usually happens during the first few days, not on the seventh. It started in the morning when I suddenly felt the need to use the restroom, and I ended up ejecting this disgusting slime. Yeah... it was barf-worthy.

That happened another few times into the afternoon. Then, about an hour or so before I was supposed to go home, I used the restroom and when I was going to wash my hands I puked up watered down stomach bile into the sink. While puking uncontrollably, I felt like I was about to shit my pants with that slime stuff again, so I ran back to the stall and sat down stat. I ended up simultaneously shitting and puking, and since my ass was on the toilet seat, guess where the vomit went? All over the wall, the toilet paper dispenser, and the floor. It also got on my pants. Man, that was SO much fun to clean up! Not. Needless to say, by the time I got home I was so disgusted and exhausted that I went straight to bed and curled up into a little ball.

A little while later I heard my dad come home with groceries (I could tell because I could hear the rustling of plastic bags and the opening of cabinets in the kitchen). No doubt he's going to try and shove some of that food down my throat... meh. Shortly after that it began to rain. Not a little rain, but basically the Atlantic decided to fall out of the sky, and there's thunder too. I really don't like storms, and I'm one of those people that has irrational fears. When it's raining really bad like this I get really paranoid that the ground is going to turn to slush and that the buildings are going to sink down into it and the roads are going to crack open and the cars will fall in.

Like right now I'm going fucking ape shit worrying about whether my apartment building is going to sink into the ground, and whether or not the wood is going to get so wet that it splits and the walls collapse and I die. When driving in the rain the whole roads-opening-up thing hits me pretty hard, too. I get super jumpy and nervous. *sigh* I have so much to do tomorrow. I have to pay my car payment, go to CSU to pick up my parking pass and buy my textbooks, and then I have to pick up my best friend so we can both get our paychecks from Pizza Hut. Then we'll have to cash/deposit them and I told her I'd take her to the store since she needs some things and she doesn't have a car.

After that we're supposed to go to her sister's house and watch some movies, but I don't know how long I'm going to stay over there. For one, that already sounds like a really long day to me and if tomorrow is anything like today was... oh buddy. Two, her house is in the poorer side of town and there are lots of bugs - I HATE bugs. They freak me the fuck out. But they're my friends and that's all they can afford, and I don't want to be rude, so I will have to spend some time with them. It's hard for them to pick up and come over to my place because they'd have to bring all three babies with them. I think that's about all I have to talk about at the moment... *taps chin* Hmmm... what else?

I was 162 this morning and my size 12 pants are getting too big on me. I just bought them like two weeks ago, so that's pretty cool, although kind of a waste of money. :/ One benefit of going to Britt's tomorrow is that I can try on her size 10 pants. We wear the same brand of work pants so it'll be interesting to see if I can go down a size yet. Normally I wear really baggy clothes to work because our GM (General Manager) like refuses to give me smaller clothes, but today I wore a medium shirt with my loose 12 pants (cuz she doesn't come in on Mondays until after I leave ;P) and I got a hell of a reaction. A small note for my foreign viewers: UK sizes are 2 ahead of US and AU sizes are 4 ahead of US. So a US 10 is a UK 12 and an AU 14.

Nicky (one of our waitress - middle-aged African American woman) took one look at me and said, "You don't need to lose any more weight, baby doll. You're good just like that." Inwardly I scoffed and said, "Bullshit!" but outwardly I kept a neutral face. I weigh 162 pounds! I'm still overweight by 3lbs for my height. Ugh. She has a bigger fat roll than me, though, so I guess to her I'm thin. The other day one of the drivers, Mark, looked at me and asked, "Why are you losing weight again?" I was sort of taken aback by this and said, "Because I want to..."

Then we got into this whole big conversation about how most people find it hard to lose weight and how he doesn't think I'm fat and how he hopes I haven't stopped eating. That was sort of an uncomfortable conversation for me. I've had coworkers throw around suggestions like that around me and behind my back. Stuff like: she must not be eating, or, she's developing an eating disorder worrying about food like that. I guess I really need to work on hiding my eating habits - or lack thereof - a bit better. I so don't need that shit on top of everything else right now.

Okay, so that's it now, I promise. Sorry for the long post and ranting, lovelies. I hope you are all fabulous and reaching your goals! *blows kisses* Replies will come in my next post. I'm going to go watch Stuart Little now ^^ I got it in the mail today from Netflix. Ciao!

- Crash