Day 11 of 28 (Chest pain)

I woke up this morning with a dry mouth and throat again. This is so frustrating. I wake up like this almost every single morning now. (>.<) Rawr. The good news is that my scale said 159.4, so I’m officially into the 150’s now. *does a little dance* I’m still kind of half asleep at the moment. *yawns* I’m debating whether or not to go back to sleep for an hour or to watch some movies. I have to work at 4 pm today. I’ve enjoyed my mini vacation and I’m not looking forward to going back, especially to night shift where everyone’s an asshole. I found out one of the waitresses, who I used to be pretty close to, has been talking shit about my weight lately.

I told one of my friends I’ve lost 60lbs since high school (it’s 66lbs now) and apparently she’s been going around saying: “There’s no way she’s lost 60lbs.” Fuck her. Yes I have. When I was in high school I weighed 225. When I started working at Pizza Hut in January of 2010 I was around 200. That means I’ve lost 41lbs just since I’ve been there, most of which was just recently. I was back to 194 earlier this year. Fuck that bitch. She acts like a friend to my face and then turns around and talks shit. And who is she to talk? She’s got a huge tire hanging around her middle, and it’s WAY more noticeable than my fat. I’m not even kidding. She’s short with a giant roll in the middle. At least I’m tall and it’s spread out.

Sorry for my mini rant. That just made me really mad. I never do anything against those people in there. I always try to be really nice but they’re still mean to me, except for a few of them. The only people who aren’t mean to me are Brittany, Missy, Malaika, Mildred, and Briana. Everyone else is fucking rude, despite my best efforts to be friends. I’ve decided I don’t care to be friends with them if this is how they treat me. Why would I want to be friends with people who constantly put me down and talk about me? I’m tired of being treated like a doormat and taking it with a smile. No more.

Update:

I ended up watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding for the first time, and it was great. I actually got teary eyed at the end cuz I’m a big sap. Then I took a mini nap before work. I just got home a few minutes ago. I was scheduled 4-9 but that bitch Sheree kept me past 10, even though we only had a few deliveries on the screen (like 3) and she had 2 other drivers there who were scheduled to work later than me. That shit pisses me off. Anyway, it was a stressful day. I got a massive headache as soon as I left my apartment and it continued until this past hour. I ended up drinking two Vitamin Water Zeros with electrolytes for energy, and they maybe helped a little, but not very much.

I almost broke today ladies. It wasn’t because of actual hunger, the hunger pains were actually absent today, but because I had some wicked bad cravings. I couldn’t stop obsessing over all kinds of junk food I wanted to eat, and I almost snapped when I had a delivery with several chicken wing orders on it. The mild sauce smell just wafted through my car so temptingly. I managed not to cave but it was a close call. I find myself wondering now whether I’m strong enough to do this. I hope so. With the hunger pains and nausea not present, of course I had to gain other problems to make up for them. One was the headache and the other was a chest/lung pain that started up at work. Every time I took a breath it hurt, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly. I also got really tired and really sensitive to bright light and loud noise.

I feel a lot better now that I’m at home in my bed, but I have problem coming up: my general manager wants me to work 10 hours straight on Sunday. Fuck my life. I don’t know how I’m going to survive that shit. I also have to open tomorrow. In other news, I think I made a really big mistake telling people at work that I wanted to lose weight (this was a while back). Now that I’ve noticeably lost weight everyone is noticing, and the rumors have started to fly. One of the waitresses, the same bitch who talks behind my back, asked me today if I’m developing an eating disorder and accused me of not eating. I lied my ass off, went into detail about a huge sandwich I’d had before work. I think she bought it. It might get her off my back for a little while at least. I’m going to have to think up something to trick them for the remainder of the month. Maybe carry around an open bag of chips in my hand or something. Pizza Hut is worse than high school as far as gossip goes, and this is the last thing I need everyone talking about. *sigh*

I’m going to catch up on blogs and do my replies tomorrow probably, because I'm really tired at the moment. I think I’m going to just lay back in my bed and watch some mindless TV until I fall asleep. Night everyone. I hope your days went better than mine. Stay strong lovelies!