Oh what a day, what a day… I suppose it wasn’t too bad all things considered, but it wasn’t ideal either. There was more shit talked about me, but I’m kind of used to it now. I’m too tired to really bitch about it at the moment. I’ve just been so tired lately and I know it’s because I’m fasting, but I had hoped my energy would be back by now. *sigh* Tomorrow is my dreaded ten-hour shift and then Monday morning I start classes. I’m sure I will be exhausted for the next week. I told our GM she needs to find a new driver to cover Sundays because I just can’t handle going to school five days a week and working four days a week. I will have absolutely no time for myself, and I really need a day off of both school and work or I will go insane.
Scale said 159.2 this morning. I’m a tad disappointed that I didn’t lose more than 0.2lbs, but I’m hoping for better luck tomorrow. I feel like I cheated on my water fast today, although logically I know I didn’t really. I had a couple bottles of Vitamin Water Zero with electrolytes and a bottle of Sobe Lifewater Zero. I know that’s not technically plain water so I feel really guilty about it. As I told Sam earlier, I have a worrying mind. I tend to beat myself up over little things even when I know it’s not a big deal. I’ll be okay now that I’m at home, though. Nothing but distilled water for the rest of the night. I warmed up some leftover beans from the fridge for show and promptly dumped them in my trash can. I don’t think my dad suspects a thing.
I guess I’ll start on replies now because I have SO many to do. lol I guess I’ve been slacking again. I’ll be covering “I hate bad weather” and “Day 11 of 28.” If you commented on both posts you’ll need to keep scrolling to find your name twice, since I’m replying in order of arrival and separately for each post.
I hate bad weather:
@Christina – I am proud of myself, for sure. I’m happy that I’m finally in a normal weight range, but I won’t be ecstatic until I reach my goal. That doesn’t necessarily mean my goal weight, but at least my goal for the size of pants I want. If I fit well into that size before my goal weight then I will be satisfied. I’m aiming for a size 2 at the moment, because I have a broad bone structure and I’m not sure I could ever fit my hips into a 0. I find it unlikely. lol As for the milk, I will just have to wait and see. I’m leaving it unopened until after my fast, and then I will smell it to make sure it hasn’t gone bad. Since it’s closed I don’t think it will spoil, because the bacteria that causes milk to spoil supposedly only gets in there when it comes in contact with the air. That’s what I read anyway.
@Hope to be thin – I hate the cold and the heat. I’m super picky about the weather. I prefer a happy medium honestly, though if I HAD to choose I might choose the cold, just because I can wrap myself up in layers and layers of clothing and blankets. When it’s hot all I can do is sit in from of an air conditioner and hope to hell I don’t die. lol I figured out that two things were causing my nausea. One was whenever I was standing and walking around after drinking water, and two is whenever I drink my vitamin waters. I think my stomach may just be protesting having something other than straight water in it, since that’s what it’s gotten used to over the past twelve days.
@Sam Sam – I love animal crackers!!! (^.^) Ohhh I miss them. I shall buy some when I am off my fast. They’re not very high calorie either! Definitely going on my grocery list… Oh seals are adorable, but yeah totally covered in blubber. I would be offended too. Haha. But even worse than a seal… what if someone called me a hippo? O.o I would just die. I’m going to have to hunt for that baby herbal tea stuff. I never go into the baby food aisle at all so I don’t even know what’s other there. *sheepish* Oh don’t you worry, I got plentyyy of sleep last night. I slept a shit ton, probably more than I should have.
@Elly – Awesome! I look forward to having you around more, when you get back from Italy of course. :) I loved that post by the way, and thank you for the mention. It made me feel all fuzzy and shit. Yeahhh… I hate being ill. I just really hate it. Usually I would eat a nice big bowl of warm chicken noodle soup, but nope! Not allowed for another… *calculates in head* …16 days.
@FatBitch – This might sound really lame, but I’ve never even heard of fennel seeds before. I will look into it, though. :) Thank you for the tip. My stomach has been a lot better today. I was barely queasy at all and managed not to throw up.
Day 11 of 28 (Chest pain):
@mlw – I would never throw you out for calling her a bitter bitch, because that’s exactly what she is. lol I can’t think of any other reason for her to be so mean about it, because I’ve never been mean to her. And now she says she’s only eating once a day and she’s lost 5lbs so far (supposedly – I can’t tell). So who the hell is she to bother me about whether or not I’m eating? I mean… hello?!? Once a day is STILL starvation. At least my body is in ketosis so it’s not technically starving at the moment.
@Annie – Aw thanks :) Hopefully I can keep it up for another 16 days.
@FatBitch – I’ll have been there two years next January, and I’m planning to leave next February before my birthday. I’m really aiming for that two year marker, because it looks way better on a resume. My pains seemed to have passed so I’m going to stick with it. If anything serious happens and I NEED to break it then I will. I am just hoping for the best right now and I felt a lot better today. I only told two coworkers about my fast and neither of them have said anything. The rumors and speculation going around at the moment have been started simply from the fact that I’ve noticeably lost so much weight, and some people just can’t mind their own business. No one besides Missy and Malaika actually KNOW for a fact that I’m not eating. I don’t mind long comments at all. I enjoy them actually *hugs back*
@Sarah – Yeah I work at Pizza Hut, so the food there definitely isn’t of the healthy variety. My theory on all the bitchiness is that they’re all (for the most part) middle-aged, overweight, and never going anywhere with their lives. Most of them have been working there for a very long time now, and have no chance of doing other things. Then add to that the fact that I’ve lost so much weight and I’m starting college classes on Monday, and all the bitterness and jealousy comes to the surface. They know I’m going somewhere with my life and I’m sure that pisses them off to no end.
@Gracereturnsslowly – Aww that sounds awful I’m sorry. I personally don’t know how you handle not eating dairy products. I’m not going to lie, I love my dairy. Cottage cheese, milk, eggs, cheese… you name it, I eat it. I used to be a vegetarian for two years, though, when I was younger. My family absolutely hated it and made me start eating meat again. I tried to go back this past year, but I found that I couldn’t. I just love chicken too much now. I hate pork and I’m not particularly fond of fish, and I don’t really eat much beef (maybe an occasional steak), but I just LOVE chicken. I don’t know why. Oh she’s trying to lose weight now. She said she’s only eating one meal a day, so that’s still starvation, which means she has NO right to give me shit about whether or not I’m eating.
@Sammy – Lol go on then! :) I would love to see you reach the 140’s. I would just be so proud. I think with the new plan we talked about today you will do just fine. Just make sure you stay above 500 missy. *waggles finger playfully* Wow… when you say “my child” it’s just weird to me, cuz I’m older than you. *giggles* I love a good chick flick too. I hate being such a baby that I cry, but I love the movies. Vitamin Water Zero is this: Click Me. I personally enjoy that flavor but there are a lot of other flavors too. Awesome stuff. I also drink SmartWater: Click Me. Psssh… I think we might reach it at the same time. I don’t want to be thin before you. I want to be thin with you! lol
@Christina – Yeah, I know you’re right. It’s just hard when the majority of people are making snide comments to you. Have you ever noticed that bullies like to stick together? Well that is definitely the case, and Pizza Hut is full of them. I am trying my very best to be strong through this sometimes challenging process. Being able to come on here and talk to you guys helps a lot. Thanks for being here for me!
@Mia – Well that’s good. I hope you can stay away from purging, because the side effects are just awful (been there – part of my back molar crumbled off). I’m sure you will manage to keep it under control, as long as you don’t get too skinny like you said.
@Run – I’m in complete awe that you’ve fasted for 22 days so far. *admires* That’s just awesome. I’ve noticed the bitchy nurse thing! I deliver to the hospital down the street frequently and they are so rude. Also, every time I’ve visited the hospital because of a family member it seems like the nurse is really bitchy. I don’t get it. They’re supposed to be helping people, which means they should be nice to said people. Maybe they should consider having a stay at the hospital to get the sticks surgically removed from their asses.
@americaneagle – I inspire you? O.o Chica you are so tiny! You inspire ME! Lol It seems you have plenty of willpower. ^^ Wouldn’t that just be hilarious if she did gain a bunch of weight after being a bitch about my weight loss? That would serve her well. Aw yeah it was a great movie. The part where I started crying was when her dad bought them a house as a wedding gift. I was just like: omg that’s so sweet… *sobs* hahaha
I get stressed over little things too. I worry if something that says 0 cals is actually 0 cals and things like that. If I did something right and everything can worry me too. But you probably need the electrolytes. It'll help you stay hydrated and keep you healthier than just plain water. Going to school and working can be a lot. I tried that plus being pregnant and I couldn't handle it and quit my job. I hated my job and my boyfriend at the time said I didn't need to work and encouraged me to quit my job so I did. But it is nice to have a full day to yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou are really going to need to get that day to yourself. I'm not working at the moment but I'm going to university 5 days a week and spent almost all my time there. I refuse to do anything uni related on Saturdays. If it wasn't for that day off then I'd go insane, well more insane than usual.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel guilty about the Vitamin water, you need the electrolytes. I get what you mean about having slightly wider hips. I think mine are like that too. I want to see how low I can get size wise. I don't know what size I am at the moment so I'll have to find that out.
Nawh, I'm always here for you, we all are.
xx
don't feel bad about the vitamin water! it's nothing. :) and you start monday? jinkies. i always forget that normal colleges start early. mine doesn't start until like, september something or another. haha. :p but don't worry about it. you'll be fine.
ReplyDeletekeep going, kay? you're such an inspiration :3 day twelve. so hardcore. <3
I hope you regain energy before that shift! Gah! Ten hours!!!
ReplyDeleteInsanity. That's not good! All work and no play. When do you have time for Sam that way? =P Yes. You do. You should stop worrying. It isn't a big deal. *here to speak like so until all guilt erases* Ah! Dumping food trick. Cool. :D ^__^! Yay! I has my name twice then.
I love them too! But I can't have them either way. Because nobody's here to buy me some! Really? They aren't? That's cool! XD. Seals are adorable but need the fat to survive. O_o we thankfully don't. Nobody can call you a hippo because you aren't one! :D
I went there. There's some of that cerelac thing (that sucks, don't buy that! *tried it* and pretty high cal for one bowl...like 200cal!), the normal jars, the powdered milk, some teething crackers probably *those are pretty low-cal* and the herbal tea stuff last time I checked. I know this because I went grocery shopping once to get my baby sister some food.
You can never sleep enough in my opinion! The more sleep, the better!
Ahahaha. I say 'my child' all the time! Been listening to Disturbed more than I'd like to.
Yes. I've planned it out! Today's my first day. Here's to reaching the 140's! We'll know by the end of August if I've done anything. Until now, me and the scale are not friends. Let's see how this goes. I didn't count yesterday in because I didn't count my intake.
Speaking of movies that make you cry, Click...was a sad movie. Dammit. It wasn't supposed to be!
Hopefully so. Surprisingly, I lost my last 60lbs from restricting, not from nor fasting a few days then binging for the rest, obviously. So going back into routine might help me a ton! Eep! I shouldn't have opened that mid-fast. Gah. When it hits 6:30, I am so drowning down a bottle of water. Yes. Just one bottle. For the day. I can't stand water most of the time ;D you already know that. If you're thin before me, you're gonna wait for me, rigghttttt?
*does calculations* *gives up* know the date when your fast ends? *wonders*
I had to laugh at the last part about the nurses!! I used to think that daily going into work. Ironic that the doctors who were much busier were so much nicer to everyone.
ReplyDeleteI still get lightheaded and dizzy. It's quite irritating really. The nausea is horrid.
I've never done a juice fast either. I don't have the patience to do all the fresh juice stuff. I am not sure how long to aim for. Everytime I consider ending it, I have second thoughts and think "Oh, I can do another day or so.."
Don't worry about the Vitamin water. Not many people can do straight water fasts. I know I can't. I tend to stick to water for a few days and then need something else. Something... More interesting. I'm quite sure you'll be able to do 28 days. You are doing amazingly well so far.
I'm sorry you have no energy...:/ But I'm a little bit worried it's not gonna be better... I think that always when you give body no food, it's getting very tired and it's even logical... But I guess it's really worth it! Anyway, I really admire you and I think we all do!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you actually study? Do you work even during your semester? Wow! I'm too lazy for that, really...:))
I think that drinking those waters that aren't really plain plain is still fine and really good and I think it's good for your body as well...
Oh I love hot weather and I also love cold weather in winter - snow and so on... I hate fall - it's cold, dark, but not cold enough to o skiing...
we're celebrating even the tiny losses!! :) and you're under 160 still!! yay! that's like, another goal you checked off! yay! I'm so happy and proud of you!! stay strong! Sorry about the shitty stuff, and don't worry about the other water, you probably needed the electrolytes! <3 stay strong! xx
ReplyDelete