Rough Morning

I had a really bad morning today. I woke up feeling okay and then I got some bad news in the mail that set me off. It was a snowball effect from that moment on. My dad and I were going to do grocery shopping and I told him to leave me alone because I knew my temper was about to snap, but he doesn't know when to stop pushing my buttons. He kept saying, "You can choose to control it," and blah, blah, blah, but there's a reason I'm on medication. I was diagnosed with type 2 bipolar and anxiety disorder recently and I've been becoming increasingly volatile. The smallest things make me lose it and I went ape shit. He threatened to slap me and I threatened to slap him back if he tried it, so we left Walmart with nothing and I walked home. He said, "Get in the truck stupid," so I grabbed my purse, slammed the door, and walked the rest of the way home. When I got back I took some more of my medication and calmed down a bit, and I even tried to apologize, but he just kept pushing my buttons so I started screaming again. He just doesn't get it and it frustrates me to no end. I told him if he ever hit me I'd leave him black and blue, and he didn't seem to believe me, but I'm completely serious. I'll never let anyone hit me without consequences. So now I'm holed up in my room trying to calm down. It doesn't help that I started my period this morning and my doctor took me off birth control last month because of how much I smoke. She's worried I'll get a blood clot and have a stroke, but I've been on them for years now to control my hormones. This is my first period in years without birth control to regulate it, so my hormones and mood are all over the place, and I'm in an immense amount of pain. I got even more pissed when I went into the medicine isle at Walmart and they were completely out of Midol. That's the only other thing that helps me on my period, and I don't have any. But he just kept pushing my buttons. I'll probably go over to my best friend's house in a little while, after the episode of The Biggest Loser I'm watching is over. I don't know if that will help or not, because there are three babies and two puppies in that house, and all the crying and puppy whining might set me off again. I'm not sure what to do in this situation. The only good thing that happened today was that I asked Christie out again, and I missed her dearly. We're going to give it another go and I hope it works out this time. It ended last year because I became really unstable and called it off, but I want things to be different this time. I'm going to have to go back and see my doctor as soon as possible to let her know what's going on. I hope you've all had a much better day than me. Stay strong and beautiful. I love you guys :)