My Struggle with Eating - Part 1

I can't believe it's already mid-October 2010. Just a little over a year ago I graduated from high school and moved across the country for college. Now I'm back and the difference makes it feel like years. I decided college wasn't right for me at the moment, I'm back to having writer's block and no closer to publishing anything, I'm working two jobs to make ends meet, and I'm constantly struggling with my weight. When I was little I remember being athletic. I was always tall but I was never really fat. It wasn't until middle school that I got lazy and started packing on all the pounds. High school was what really did me in, though. I remember one year I actually briefly deluded myself into thinking that I didn't care how fat I was. I was content with being obese. What a joke. I look back now at my high school pictures and I'm disgusted. Even though I've lost over 30 pounds since then I still look in the mirror and think I'm ugly. I'm 5'61/2" and I weigh 190 lbs. That's up from 183 about 2 months ago. I went through a period of time where I virtually stopped eating and kept track of every single calorie I ingested, and it actually worked. I lost weight and I felt so happy, and then it all went to hell when I started eating again. I'm struggling now to get back on that path to lose more weight. I would like to get down to 130 at the most. If you're reading this and you've been through what I'm going through, I would appreciate any words of advice you can offer on how to curb the temptation to eat.